pillarrocks24's Xanga

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:26:38 GMT

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 23:49:40 GMT

We are changing...

Its difficult to see how much we change. It's hard to take a look back at the days, and remember where I was in life. Man, God has changed my life. Turned everything around. As sometimes I try to run away, but he won't let me, he pulls me into his arms. Lord fill me...I want you in my life....be by my side. Forever and all eternity. Don't ever let me go.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 21:48:44 GMT

School is lame. I am not good at football. Jesus is rockin, drugs are bad.

So Where Do I Go From Here

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 17:54:59 GMT

What am I supposed to do? This world has started to confuse me. I begin to question everything. My favorite uncle just died. What is up with that?

But hey....on a brighter note Steve Irwin.....thats not funny

Friday, September 01, 2006

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 02:45:54 GMT

Rough day....rough game. My pride still continues to drive a wedge between me and God. And pride is the reason I haven't tried to do nothin about it. How do you ask God to get you through something, when you don't want to talk to Him in the first place. And when you do want to talk to Him you feel like a hypocrite. Why do I feel like an outsider. I know God is there. How am I supposed to get through this? Pride is the reason I can't crush my pride. I am trippin over myself.

Well anyways...I am sittin here....drinkin green tea. Which will keep me up all night. Well.

There is one reason I know God is here. When I a ticked...He all of a sudden brings joy to my heart. Joy that I am alive. Aint it feel great to be alive....

Peace,
Pat

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 15:54:53 GMT

So ya, last night was a good time. I went over to Chris' and met up with him, Tommy, and Scott. Then we all went to Luna Cafe for a while. Just hung there. Talked to everyone.

We did something that we started to do a little bit. We grabbed the guitars and headed to Lakeshore. We sat on the sea wall in front of St Paul. It was awesome. Watchin planes, stars, satellites and frieghters. Hopefully we can do that again next week. It was so relaxing.

Still no football....but I will be ok. Thanks to everyone askin me how I am doin...it means a lot.

Peace,
Pat

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:08:07 GMT

Doctor- "My advice is four weeks, no football for four weeks" Pat- "What....are you serious" (And then I almost lost all consiousness for what is good and what is rightous{I almost killed everyone in sight} when I heard these words)

Ok so I wasn't thinkin murder, but I was close.

Theres a part of my conversation where I got heartbroken more than any girl could break my heart. (Trust me, that seems to happen more and more often as this high school thing goes on)

Now while I didn't blame God for this, I did quickly turn my back on Him. I didn't let Him control my thoughts and emotions. I didn't think of why He let this happen. In fact, the only reason I let Him back into this situation was because while I was completely losing it(No, I can't live without Jesus, but I love football) was because in the act of throwing a fit, my mom said "I need to pray about this" That said...the hopelessness went away.

I am screaming, yelling, and holding back tears while in the car ride home.(Yes I apologized to my mother for this) She drops me off at Chris and Scott's house and I break down into tears. I walk inside. And Mrs. McDonald sees me, notices that I am hurtin, and gives me a hug. I go find the guys. And they all help me with kind words. By then I am laughin and having a good time, and I notice God working. He gave me people around me to help me find hope when all I really want is to play football again just so I can kill someone.

Though four weeks sounds like a death sentance....I found that my friends mean so much to me.

Celeste shows up at my house with some green tea and a stuffed tiger. She totally didn't have to do it.

Like how awesome is God??? I don't know, but man He is a rockin dude yo.

Peace,
Pat

Sorry if this post was all over the place....I will just blame it on the concussion.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 19:08:06 GMT

Well today was the first day in pads. I got lit up so bad. So bad. It was depressing. I ended up gettin a concussion...I missed Hoot and Holler. It was rough. But....I guess it shows how God works....God showed me how much pride I had. My desires to lift myself up, and to be at the top. God started breaking me today. It's hard to feel on top of the world when you are at the bottom of a pile, with a headache blinding you. Its hard to feel prideful when you are sittin on the sidelines, seein the coaches eyes say "This kid isn't cut out for this game" It's enough to question my worth. But Jesus knows humility. (What is more humiliating than being half naked, beaten, spit on, and hangin on a piece of wood) He didn't leave me out to dry. He gave me teammates and coaches to stand around me, and encourage me to get better and not get down on myself. That I still was a hard worker and tryin my best. Isn't it amazin how God works....I know He is not done breaking me. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Its amazin....no matter how hard we fall. When it looks like we hit a brick wall, when the tears can't be stopped, the bruises stainin the skin, we are so weak....we can always, with Christ's strength, stand up, and fight one more fight, breath another breath. We get hit hard too....

Guys, encourage one another.

Peace,
Pat

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:05:26 GMT

Heres a good emo song....

YOU'RE SO LAST SUMMER (Taking Back Sunday)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 00:46:30 GMT

Hey guys...well its here. The season is here. Football is here. Was I ready for it....no. Will I be tomorrow....I pray that God will give me strength. Man I need Him in this season. Nothin can be done with these hands without Him....